Frequently Asked Questions

My name is Martha Ainsworth. I have been a Christian my entire life. When I was 15, I knew I was called to serve God, and from that moment on, I devoted myself to working in the Church, primarily as a communicator, community builder, and musician. 

Thirty years into my career, I slowly began to understand that God might be calling me to a new vocation. It took several years for it to become clear to me, but by 2007 I realized that God was leading me to a path of contemplative spirituality, which is a way of seeking deep union with God through prayer.

I pursued this path as best I could while I was still working full time. When I retired, I was able to devote myself to a contemplative life of prayer. Now, at age 70, I follow a Rule of Life and spend my days immersed in prayer. 

I am not a nun. I am simply a Christian woman whose life is devoted to prayer. In many respects, I live a normal life, maintaining a small apartment, occasionally visiting friends, and taking care of life. That said, I do observe some monastic-style practices. Sometimes, a person who does this on her own, without the support of a monastic community, is called a solitary. Those whose practice, like mine, is characterized by solitude and silence, may be called an anchorite or hermit. The term urban hermit is especially popular for one who lives in an urban or suburban setting and may need to support themselves through secular employment. Any of these terms might apply to me.

“Silent Music” comes from a poem by the 16th century spiritual master, John of the Cross. John of the Cross was a lover—in love with God; and he counsels us to approach faith as a deepening relationship of love. His wisdom has continued to guide spiritual seekers for over 400 years.

In the poem, John refers to “la música callada, la soledad sonora, la cena que recrea y enamora” (silent music, sounding solitude, the supper that refreshes, and deepens love). I identified closely with that lovely imagery, and adopted it for the theme of my website. 

Yes, I do — but allow me to explain what that means. I believe that one of the most important parts of prayer is not just talking, but listening to God. If I am talking, I am probably not listening. If I am distracted by noise and activity, I am probably not listening as intently as I might.

I have vowed to entrust myself to a “living and vigilant silence,” minimizing the distraction of unnecessary speech and activity, so that I may listen and wait upon the voice of the Holy One. I do still speak, when it is necessary, and when I am expressing God's love, through select conversations, and in the liturgy.

A Rule of Life is a set of promises guiding one’s life and growth in the spiritual journey. Think of the word “rule” in the sense of a ruler that measures and guides, rather than commandments or laws. Most monastic communities follow one of the traditional Rules that applies to their order. Solitaries, such as myself, might compose their own. Depending on their situation, they may formalize their vows with an ecclesiastical authority. 

You can read my Rule of Life here.

I am a lifelong Episcopalian. I worship every Sunday at St. Mark’s Church in Philadelphia. 

There are many, many ways to pray! God hears us when we open our hearts to him, no matter how we pray. Some find it easier to read prayers that others have written; others, to pray silently; and others, to talk to God like a friend. It’s all good. God knows what is in your heart.

I pray in several different ways:

• Four times each day, I read a traditional devotion of Bible readings and prayers known as The Daily Office. 
• Gratitude is important! I give thanks to God for the many blessings I have received.
• I acknowledge my sins, make restitution as I can, and seek to amend my life.
• I pray, “Whatever you give me, Lord, I humbly receive, and I offer you all that I am and all that I have.”
• I bring before God the people and concerns that have been brought to me.
• At least once each day (sometimes more) I set aside time for centering prayer, which is a simple way of focusing one’s heart and mind to the presence of God’s love. 
• Throughout the day, in everything that I do, I try to be open to God, to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17), listening silently and attentively to the Lover of Souls.

It’s easy to confuse prayers with wishes. We might start to believe that if we just pray the right way, or pray hard enough, that we can make God do what we want. But God is not a cosmic vending machine—we don’t just put in a prayer, and receive our wish. I don’t have the power to force God to do anything. 

For me, to pray for someone is not so much to ask God to do something, or change something. To pray for someone is to hold them in my heart, as God holds them in His: trusting that God is enfolding them in Divine Love.

The Holy One is Love, and wants only good for us. No matter what happens, God loves you, God is with you. And God can redeem any situation. "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

In the words of Julian of Norwich, “I look at God, I look at you, and I keep looking at God.” I begin by acknowledging God’s presence—that both of us are in the presence of the Lover of Souls. I open my heart, desiring only to be responsive to whatever God is doing in the moment. I commend us both “to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20)

It would be my honor to pray for you, for a loved one, or for any concern you want to bring before God. Click here to ask for prayers. 

I am older now, and retired, living only on Social Security. Like most Americans, I have seen my living expenses skyrocket in recent years. I know that God is calling me to the work of prayer. I must trust that the God I love, the God who loves me, will move the hearts of caring individuals—like you—to make it possible. 

• For God is not unjust; he will not overlook your work and the love that you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. (Hebrews 6:10) 
• Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16) 
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